25 Things that PISS ME OFF

1. When people IM you just to say "what's up" like three times a day. It hasn't changed! If I haven't messaged you, it's not important! FUCK!
2. When you are walking down the street (or hallway if you go to school) and dumb bitches gotta talk smack. If you don't know me, don't open your fucking trap! I do have quite a bit of anger problems, and true- I've never blown up on anyone before- but you don't want to be there when I do. Trust me.
3. When little fourteen year old boys make up alter egos to have endless cyber sex with other little fourteen year old girls. If you are so ugly you need an alter ego, just give it up.
4. When you are all stoned and someone comes and fucks up your high by messing with you.
5. Apps on Facebook. I go back after I empty them and there's like fourty more there! I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT FARMVILLE! IF I WANTED A COW, I'D GET ONE FOR REAL!!
6. When people tell you to do something when you ask them, and then get pissed off when you do it. If you didn't want me to do that, then say so. THIS ISN'T FRANCE!!
7. When someone pulls in front of you and then starts going ten under the speed you were going.  Why couldn't you just do that- BEHIND ME?! That's a novel idea!
8. When a teacher flunks you when you are only two points from passing. JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T GOTTEN LAID IN YEARS- DOES NOT MEAN YOU HAVE TO TAKE IT OUT ON ME!! D:< I might have worked harder than normal for that D. Jeez.
9. Guys that I see making out with like five chicks in one day.
10. When random guys message me on myspace asking me my bra size. WHATS YOUR BRA SIZE??!
11. Ostriches!!
12. Justin Bieber. Stupid bint.
13. Edward Cullen, that magnificent poof.
14. When they try to make a movie about a book and you don't know wtf is going on.
15. When your friends smoke all your weed.
16. When your friends eat all of your food- after smoking all your weed.
17. When people come over to your house and start going through your shit.
18. When people say they are going to be there, and they never show up. Or call. Or have a pliable reason, like getting hit by a car, or mauled by angry man-eating armadillos.
19. When your friends mess with your car radio when you didn't tell them they could. I mean, i'm not going to pay a lot of attention to that- but don't make a habit of it, or I'll smack your arm off.
20.  People who's reason for existance revolves around that piece of shit book, Twilight. Edward Cullen is a fictionary character, and he will never love you! Accept it!!
21. Emails from Mormans, trying to convert you.
22. When people put signs in your yard about Jesus because they think you worship Satan.
23. When people throw temper tantrums.
24. When people have no sense of humor. At all.
25. When you are driving down the road, and all of a sudden- BAM! There's a frickin' cow there, and you have to swerve around it or perish. Fix your fence, dude!! Some of us are kind of high, here- and it takes a great deal of skill to swerve around a cow!!

Note to reader: Not generally so angry, I'm just ranting. I do that. Fucking cows.

Justin Bieber: Why He Sickens Me

Justin Bieber. Those two words inspire a fear in my soul, screaming out in pain, and telling me "dear god, cover your ears!" Don't get me started on him. Her. He/She. The stupid hair, the stupid music, the stupid way he talks. I'm sure he's a decent person. Maybe. But I'm just pissed off that people think he's so amazing when his music could kill an elephant in its tracks. Can you actually believe that a bunch of little kids almost mob him to death every time he goes to a concert?? He's the next Jesse McCartney, guys. Should we be afraid for the future? Why do all of these girls think he's pretty? I just want to shoot him in his face to improve his looks! The very first time I listened to his music I thought it was a lesbian singing. I was all- hey, right on, lesbian singer- and then this chick is all- that's not a lesbian! That's Justin Beiber! He's ammmaaazzinngg! And I'm thinkin'- WTF that's a DUDE what's wrong with his genitalia?? Did someone drop a bag of bricks on his junk? What is his mother feeding him? Now I'm sure if I ever met him in person, I would probably think.. he SUCKED. Based on the interviews and stuff I've read on him, he's a shallow piece of crap sixteen year old that looks like he's still twelve. He's a womanizer already, and he's just a little teenager. He actually made Seventeen magazine, which doesn't suprise me, because Seventeen magazine is what all the stupid little betches read to jack off to. I sincerly hope that this crap never reaches my own children's ears, and if it does, I'm going to beat them with the CD to install a sense of fear of his face. That's all I have to say.

Mirror

Mirror, mirror, on the wall
I've been listening to you call
Did you want me to come to you?
I've been feeling like the color blue
Is it very difficult to see?
Please, I beg of you- heal me
Put self knowladge into my heart
Tear these horrible feelings apart

A Check List- Dreams and Ambitions

Graduate from high school.
Go to college. For art??
Have my own house.
Have my own stuff.
Have an attack parrot.
Fall in love. Or not? I don't know yet.
Go to London.
Go to France.
Go to Ireland.
Publish books.
Work in a pub.
Drive a semi truck.
Get an assortment of piercings and tattoos.
Find Robert his dream guy.
Make sure Robert doesn't blow the house up.
Get a night job.
Learn how to play the drums.
Learn how to play the sax.
Learn how to blow stuff up effectively.
Travel with a carnival.
Travel with hippies.
Join a commune.
Buy a Gypsy Cob.
Move to Ireland and use said Gypsy Cob as transportation.
Change my name.
Buy a wolf dog.
Name him something cool.
Teach him how to scare the crap out of people.
Be happy & healthy.
Don't die.

Things that worry me-and/or make me nervous

When I get called to the office when I know I've been smoking behind the gym.
My mother when her voice shakes.
Avery when she cries.
Sean when he looks like he's knawing his arm off and no one notices. (Am I the only one with EYES??)
Anyone that I love mad dogging me for no reason.
Chickens.
Llamas.
Streets with hooligans on them.
Hooligans.
Mom dying.
Avery dying.
Ashley dying.
Robert dying.
Sean dying.
Death.
My future- I mean seriously, wtf am I gonna do about that??
Crying.
People seeing me cry.
People seeing me showing emotions.
Feeling emotions.
Not feeling anything.
Changes.
Feeling totally un-needed.
Shrinks trying to analyze my fear of emotions.
Mormans.
Religious Fanatics.
Meth.
Angel Dust.
Being stalked.
Being loved.
Being loved by someone I don't love back.
Loving someone.
Being replaced by a pod person.
Being replaced.
Having Nick move back into the house.
Being alone for all eternity.
Being surrounded in people for all eternity.
Panic Attacks.
Being invisible.
People walking away.
People knowing that life terrifies me.
People knowing what I can do.
Worry itself.

Why Edward Cullen Sucks as a Vampire

I am not a fan of Twilight. Actually, I have a hatred for it that consumes my spleen. Stephanie Meyer's vision of the creatures of the night is sickening and it makes me want to hurl projectile vomit all over my shoes. I mean, sparkley, "vegetarian" vampires, that "love" humans and drive Volvos aren't really high on my list of heroes. Especially vampires that haven't been witched into being soul having. The true reality is that if Edward did love Bella and he was a true vampire, he would turn her quicker than anything, and they would go on a village pillaging, baby eating, kitten killing, damn the world, we're bad-ass vampires forever rampage, killing a lot of people and mocking the righteous. But nooo... he shies away from making her undead- and having sex with her, for that matter- and he continues to prance around like a magnificent poof, all butterflies, rainbows, and tra la la. And did I mention he has stupid hair? I mean, what kind of hair goes straight up like that? Me, personally, I am a giant Buffy fan, and I firmly believe in "And then Buffy staked Edward, the end." Now, that is what I want to see in the next wanker film that comes out with Robert fuckin' Pattinson in it. I'd like to see him get into a fight with Spike. He could barely handle that silly bint James by himself without getting the shit beat out of him. If his family hadn't come along and rescued him from the big bad, James would have killed him, eaten Bella, and went off to have a victory shag with Victoria while all of those wannavamps wept like little girls. Am I right? Yes. Now don't get me started on all of those little Twilight loving fourteen year olds. I just want to punt them over a fence. Edward sucks, and I hope you fall on your head and drown in your own puke for liking such a horrible book series/movie series. May you shove your Twilight action figures up your ass. And Edward- don't lie. You are having a secret affair with Jacob Black, and you are both madly in love. Bella's just a cover. Plus, she's butt ugly and flat chested anyway. End of story.

Philosophy on Life as of Summer 2010: Part One

In my life, I have come across sources and information that have made me think about my tenets. They hae changed quite a bit over the years- but the ones I have now have proved to me the best way to do things in my own life. I believe that humanity is black and white, "good" and also "evil". I've seen "good" people do "bad" things, and "bad" people do "good" things- and I have come to believe in the saying, as quoted from the movie Hogswatch- "Things just happen... what the hell."
My tenets are rather complicated. My prime mover is not just one male deity, like most of the western faiths, but a god AND a goddess. I believe this because I figure that there is no way that one of the male persona can run things by themselves, because eventually, they are going to fuck things up. This is a personal philosophy. In "The Book of Shadows," they speak of "the Goddess" being the first deity created, and that she gave birth to "the God." I really don't know that it's right, or if it's wrong, but I believe that all of the beliefs and "Gods" exist because of human belief.

Also in Hogswatch, strange things happen, like for example- "The God of Hangovers" was blinked into existance because a human thought him up, also "The Veruca Knome," and "The Sock Monster." Now, I'm not going into the extreme that veruca knomes and sock monsters are going to pop into your house if you think of them, but I do believe that this concept works for the whole "God" notion. I've also toyed with the idea that everything you believe in being created on their own astral plane.
Now, as for the creation of the universe, I believe that it might have been created by a deity, such as "the Goddess," but I also wonder if it was just a huge mistake, and we are just here because we got lucky. Or maybe, perhaps, we were the Gods at one point, and put other Gods in charge by thinking they were in charge instead of us. Kind of like unknowingly giving your position away to another coworker and not being able to get it back. Maybe we thought ourselves into existance. Maybe it's all just a big, chaotic mess that just suddenly poofed into existance, like in the movie Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, when the whale just is created by accident and falls through the sky. It seems rather pliable to me. We are a nation of whales.
Humans are funny creatures. From my observations, they are so different, yet the same-tied together by common emotions that rule them. I've heard many different religions say that Humans are on the earth to do "God's bidding," follow their "destiny," and whatnot. Could it be possible that we are being controlled, like a puppet, or some sort of Barbie doll for a higher being? Could it be possible that that higher being can plan out your life track and send you out into the world with their imprint on you- so you can be played like a video game character? Follow the stars, Mario. I personally have the opinion that I'm not sure that I have an opinion. Because sometimes- I feel as if someone is pulling the strings and watching me fumble around- like how I watch a anime and snicker underneath my breath at their corky circumstances- and sometimes I feel as if it's my life; DAMN anyone who tries to control me, higher being or not- I'm making this stupid decision on my frickin own. But then again, is that what they want me to think?
My opinion on human nature is that we are what we are, and nothing can really change that, God or no. There is no pure shade of white, nor darkest shade of black- no being totally "good" or "evil", we are just animals. Animals that have the curse of thinking really hard about totally stupid things that don't even really matter anyway. We follow our instincts, sometimes, but most of the time we think with our emotions- and emotions are really unstable, so... guess what? We are too. We are chaos, but not by definition, "good" or "bad." I formed this opinion by studying the people around me, and reading "The Way of Zen," which helped me add onto my own theories.
Who knows if I'm wrong or right? I'm just thinking free range. Who knows? More later. I'm getting typing cramp.